You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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