You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
40s are totally the cure
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
