your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
