The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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