hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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