At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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