people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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