You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
