I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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