yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
