Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
