i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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