mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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