glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made him laugh his dick is mine
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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