Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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