I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
