I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
