Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
