weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
