love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
