I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
