Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
