my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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