My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
