it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
