i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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