Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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