p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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