never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
