I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
