i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
