is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
birth control should be required to get into college
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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