Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
