do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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