Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
false alarm. still invincible.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
