If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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