kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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