Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
