going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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