Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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