Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We are two peas in an std pod
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
