my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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