Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have peed in a lot of sinks
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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