I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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