Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
