I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Two words: nipple clamps
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