If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
