There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
