Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
