READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
