the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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