Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
